La gringa chilena

That is what Pablo Escobar says, and then he shoots them, not even in the back. You blame the person who got shot, because it was so obvious that they were going to get hurt. Men typically say this, trust me, I know. See, you could tell me you like me a million times, and maybe I'll still doubt it. It is probably karma. All my friends warned me that it would eventually get me if I kept messing around with heads and hearts. It started when I was about 18, and boys really really started to notice me. I don't know why, I looked exactly the same, was kind of shy, and I still sucked at flirting. And it was always the same type of guys. A a guy with a girlfriend, or just a bad guy. And so, I decided to start a little experiment. I began with trying to manipulate the sociopath, tried making the bad guys fall in love, and have the guys ignore their girlfriends because they were taken with me. I was surprisingly successful in some aspects. For example, the sociopath ended up with a cr...

Oye patron, recien termine mi serie sobre PABLITO EMILIO ESCOBAR He fascinates me, now all I have to do is go see Colombia to see all these beautiful places that they talk about. I dream of going off to Argentina, Brazil, to Peru. Seeing how people live, learning about how they see what I see. Basically, my dream is to culturally competent (you are welcome college). I also had a dance party in memory of the day that I went to see SSLYBY with my friends back in Springfield. We were only in town for like two days that month, and luckily we had gotten back just in time for the concert. Amelia and I danced through the house in our pajamas (even though it was already 2 pm). I sang her my favorite songs, and she insisted I pick her up and rock out with her. It was v lovely. Here is a haibun 4 you: Looking back to the times I was afraid of take off, grabbing my little brothers hand until we were safe in the sky. This time, I was going to a new place, and as I looked out the w...

I began by writing in my diary. I hadn't written anything in a long time. In fact, I had only kept diaries when I traveled. But I thought, constantly. I couldn't turn my brain off to go to sleep, my dreams were just a continuation of the thoughts that would race through my brain, and as I woke up, I would analyze everything that I could remember. It was a constant state of thinking, of trying to understand something, anything. I wanted to make maps to try illustrate if anything I was thinking of made any sense at all. So I began to write. I remember starting out.  It had been a long time and I was rusty. With no idea, where to start, I began it dear diary style. I wrote three pages the first day, and as I read it over, I realized I wasn't one hundred percent crazy. Only like 39 percent. I wrote about my friends and why I needed them: about my family, in hopes to understand them, about things too dangerous to say out loud. It was a place to hide my secrets, to clear my clou...

Inquietos, saliendo del túnel en una multitud de gente en el centro de todo. Subir un tramo de escaleras, otra más. Rutina sigue como lo normal pero yo he cambiado. El hombre que vende cigarrillos, permiso, CIGARILLOS, CIGARILLOS. Doblo en el callejón, una mujer que se ve simpática me da una biblia, acompañado con un hombre en un traje. Gracias, doblo, sigo caminando. El McDonalds se va en un torbellino, fuego saliendo de los basureros. Las mesas se dan vuelta cuando llego a la calle de Republica. La gente esta gritando a todo boca. Algunos siguen caminando, es un día común corriente, como todo los otros, sin la sonrisa que nunca estaba ahí para empezar.  El sol brilla entre las hojas de los árboles que bailan en el viento suave, la transición de temporadas. Venden bufandas coloradas, ordenadas una a una. Escalofríos que duelen cubren mi cuerpo, la nieve fría me escoce, cae una llovizna libremente de los cielos. Las bancas empiezan a derrumbar, las hojas quitadas de los árboles ...

Feeling like home 5,000 miles away No one likes sleeping on a plane. The seats never lean back as far as you want them to, and there always seems to be a baby crying or an old man snoring next to you. After a one-hour flight to take a 10-hour flight, you’re ready to be home—a place where you are completely content. That place for me is 11 air hours away from where I have lived for most of my life. As strange as it sounds, and even though I’ve only been there five times, that place is my home. Every time I step off the plane in Chile I feel alive. It’s a feeling of contentedness and bliss that makes me want to head out into the world and see what it has waiting for me. It’s the feeling of a new beginning in my life. I love adventure, and I know that once I get there, I’ll find it. Everything is different there: the sunny winter climate, the sounds of Chileno po, and the surroundings. I am amazed at the beauty I see everywhere. In Springfield I see trees, grass and midsized buildi...

As he lied down on me, using my lap as his pillow, I didn't know what to feel like. But you must have felt safe  nice, as you nibbled on my fingers, gifting kisses on my wrists. It made me nervous, anxious even, but okay at the same time. I will admit, I am not used to those affections. I mean, I don't even like hugs, and hand holding kind of stresses me out (in a good way). As we talked about things that mattered, I felt confident. And I even started to feel safe too. I took a picture of the day, of the night sky and the park and you. A while ago, I realized that I forget things too easily, and if I could whip out a camera and remember the times I want to, then that is what I am going to have to do. Although my camera isn't real, I take my hands and make a CLICK noise, and know that this memory will be stored for when I want to see it. I like this memory. I told my father I have a blog, I want him to read it. He is always the person I send my papers to, my poem to, and I...

I CAN'T It was the year that it snowed all winter. I worked at the ice rink, so I was used to the cold, enjoyed it even. There was a parking garage next to where my best friend and I worked. Not that special, but the thing I liked about it was that it was always empty. It had these old stairs that as you climbed up to the top, it made you feel like you were in a movie, like you were climbing up the back way, and the hope that no one would catch you made it exciting. As we climbed up the back stairs, we would laugh because we knew that no one would be at the top. It was icy that day, and we stood by the ledge, looking over our town. We could see all of downtown, and that day I wanted to see more. I wanted to feel more, to be more daring. Usually we would sit on the ledge, looking around at the people who were down below, but this time, I stood. I stood up on the icy ledge, to my best friend's surprise, and I didn't realize how easy it would have been to fall, how easy it wo...

Missouri's natural disaster: A rush of winds so powerful that it could destroy anything in seconds. Once a tornado touches down, nothing can stop it, and everything that it comes into contact with changes. It can be rebuilt, but can never be the exact same as it was before the storm. I remember the storms every summer. They used to scare me, because our house was built without a basement. That meant we had to lock ourselves up in the bathroom (no windows), my brother and I in the tub and mom sitting beside us, praying that the clouds would move the other way. I imagined our house being torn from its roots, like something from the Wizard of Oz, except I doubted we would be walking down the yellow brick road together, meeting friendly tin men and scarecrows. Eventually, I got used to the storms It would start out a brisk cool day and then it would become humid. So humid, and when it got to be that way, I'd look up at the sky. It was like it changed in an instant, from grey to...

Swimming out to an island full of flowers, taking all my breaths, past the yellow caution line. Jumping into the unknown, swimming out too far into the waves. I fooled myself into thinking it was the ocean. Pretending it went on and on, endless, I didn’t want to come out, purple haired mermaid. The waves gave me life, gave me energy to tread water, to float away. I swam out farther than the other girls dared. I wanted the waves to swallow me whole, take me  away out to sea. But I was in the beautiful blue lake, and had to climb up to the island. The flowers blew in the wind, all swaying, tickling our ankles, sunbeams dancing off the water on my lashes, showing me the heavenly multicolored rays in reach. Running through the flowers, jumping back into the waters, crashing along the edges, crumbling along the rocks. Dive Drive back to reality, after water dancing with the stars and genuine laughs as I get water in my eyes.  Floating on my back to see what is ...

And kimmy K as the first lady would make America a truly hahaha I can't finish this thought. SHE SAID BABE CAN WE GET MARRIED AT THE MAAAAAAALL I started telling people I have a blog because I am no longer afraid of the fact that people could possibly read it. But if they read it, they will have to read all these things that pop into my head while I take thirty minute long showers and dance in my kitchen to Beyonce at two in the morning. I think I could vote for Kanye. I want to tell people things that are a big deal but shouldn't be such a big deal that they can't be talked about but still have them be a big deal. But not yet. For now, here are   Megan's cool tweets: I'm glad to be here when ur xbox dies We tried to raise you right, you can tweet that -dad Dae is bae My life suckZ Yo they should've let me keep my appendix they let Dwight do it on the office IM A VERY COMPLICATED GIRL OK They call me thug na$ty What do you love? ATTENTION...

Observing the leaves changing to red makes me feel younger. Takes me back to simpler times that were just as complicated, but not as important. I wish that there were more trees in Santiago, so that all the sidewalks would be covered in change. Antonia and I went to 18palooza hoy and although there weren't very many people there at all and the day grew colder, we still got off our feet and cheered the bands along. I remember why I fell for a musician, but try to push that out of my mind as I watch the drummer drum, and the rappers rap.  Hora pa pizza, y nos fuimos pa encontrar la mejor pizza en Chile, papa juans. THERES A NEWWW DAY COMING ONNNNNNNN la unica cosa que me falta es que mi celular esta sin carga, y no puedo escuchar musica. Pero compramos una media pizza, y hablamos de chicos, chicos, y tu cachai: chicos. Tambien hablamos del pasado. De como complica cosas, de como igual extrano como era. Le digo sobre las locuras que hacia, las buenas y las malas. Hablamos de cosas...

December 4 Every night is the same old game Of hearing the birds chirp Ashamed that you haven’t been able to Close your eyes and rest your brain Dec 1 I stay up so I won’t have those few seconds of thinking before my head hits the pillow instead of just drifting away into sleep. I need a distraction, a dream, that does not make me hold my pillow while trying to stay perfectly still as I shake and close my eyes. November 4 Get up Monday- right Tuesday-wrong October 13 I can’t differentiate what is real and  What I have made up in my head Lying down, crouched in the wet grass, Hiding, from myself, from you, From the yelling, Did I dream it? October 10 Dreaming encases me I remember the shadows lighting up the walls before I close my eyes Dancing around like I was a fairy Weightless Lying in bed, Weighed down Tossing and turning,  The sun streaming in, bringing warmth, Secret diaries under my bed. September 4 ...

First: FELIZ DIA DE LOS COMPLETOS I celebrated this holiday for the first time today, going out to eat  now that I am finally mobile. After meeting up with bae, we went off together in search of the yummiest completos. I like him. And hot dogs. EL FIN Pero en serio, hoy fui a descubrir nuevos lugares. Me llevo a Paris, a Londres, y devuelta al centro de Santiago. Besos en la calle, sin caerme, fue un lindo dia de otono, the leaves twirling down until they rested on where they were supposed to land. Everyday I see more, I learn more, and I try not to think about leaving and goodbyes, and the fact that even if I wanted to be with someone I can't, and I probably shouldn't. I feel like I did before and I don't want to move too fast, or too slow. I want it to just go, falling into place, making it more beautiful than it was before, just like the leaves in the fall.

Day seven of my cast. Decided to skip the pill and sleep in, waking up to a nice and cursi message. I don't know how I feel about that, but it's a nice gesture and I guess I kind of like it. I stay in bed until company comes, bringing birthday wishes and gifts for my aunt. I want to go back to sleep.

Curiosity killed the kitty Sometimes I wish that I could retrieve all my secrets. All the ones I have let go in moments of vulnerability, in an effort to gain trust, or have just whispered; hoping that they would just float away. But it's not that easy, and now I'm not even sure what classifies as a secret, and which ones are mine to keep. And of course, there are those secrets that you wish you never knew, the ones you should have never found out. Dumb cat.  Love is lies,    When you deny a secret, does it become a lie? Or stay an innocent little secret? There is an appeal to staying a mystery, but it never lasts. If it did, I could stop running. I try tell the truth, I do but in my past, there was always something I was supposed to keep from someone else. And being the first to find out made it my responsibility to keep that secret. I don't know if I handled that responsibly, well, I know I didn't. Good or bad, the lies always came out, mingled together with the...

It is the end of day six in bed. I started walking on both feet, because I really don't care about this cast anymore. Finished knitting my hat, and now I have nothing else to do with my life, other than watch netflix and talk to a boy. I don't know why I feel like crap. I think it's all in my head now. I can't stop writing, I have too much to say, and I don't know when I'll ever shut up again. Yeah.

Not my prince.  Happy crying in my kitchen like an idiot. But in a good way, a way that makes me feel okay. See, I will lie and tell you that I hate rom coms and I've even said that I don't believe in love. But only a fool wouldn't believe in love, because love is a universal truth. Without love, I think we'd all have killed each other by now. Think of all the time we use looking for a so called soul mate. I dated a boy once who didn't believe in soul mates. He told me that he thought you could live happily with a lot of people, and hopefully the one you chose would make you the happiest. But he did believe in all the cheesy things that you can think of. I can only imagine the face that I gave him. I toughly told him that I hated love songs and movies, and eventually he was no longer the perfect gentleman who brought chocolate to the door, he was just another boy. I've never seen the Notebook Figured it would be a means to an end, the worlds most romantic mov...

Desde que me vine a Chile he sido un visitante frequente de las playas cerca a Santiago. Si es un dia de playa con mi familia o quedandome en una casa con mis amigos por el fin de semana, vengo lista con mi traje de bano, mis shorts, y mi diario. Creo que cada vez que vas al mar, tienes que meterte en el agua *respeto al mar*. Es algo que se debe disfrutar, y al menos yo no puedo resistir meter mis patas al agua. Un frio fuerte me despierta con las aguas del pacifico, me hace sentir viva cuando no puedo sentir. Espero algun dia vivir un lugar cerca de la playa, para poder sentirme asi cuando me dan las ganas.  

It is now day five in my bed, eating oreos without frosting and writing on my blog. I think I have seen every romantic comedy/ movie featuring Jason Bateman on Netflix. Update: Started watching Narcos. Fake Pablo Escobar is sexy.

I don't think I will ever enjoy going to the doctor. Like the dentist, I always leave with a problem I didn't know I had, and I have to pay for it. I hate that my grandma has to go wait in line at six in the morning to get an hour to come back, and then they can ask me the same old questions and I can recite the same old answers. Yes, I know I eat badly, I sleep over twelve hours a day, I know it's not normal to always be tired. I don't know if the pills have anything to do with it, I though that was your job to tell me. They don't like the last one that much, but I am frustrated with the entire process. Plus then there is the doubt, that if they can't fix you or find what's wrong with you, will anyone? Is it all in your head? I went to the doctor before my foot accident, to get blood work done. After self diagnosing myself with several blood diseases (thank you google) I went back to have them decode my results; because somethings were high and some were l...

I was really nervous when he called. Almost told him I wasn't home, but I knew that would be stupid, so I awkwardly tried to tell him the directions on how to arrive. I waited downstairs, trying my very hardest to look lowkey, to be lowkey, but anyone who knows me can testify that that is not something I can pull off. I was seriously doubting my outfit, a grey moon t shirt and a blue slit maxi, but it was the only thing that would fit over my cast. Luckily, Emily was available to talk and she told me it would go great, that I looked great, and then the doorbell rang. But he came over anyways. He also brought gummies, my favorite food, other than burritos. Dreamy right? I knew before the night was over I would have peladed myself, but I was one hundred percent okay with that. I couldn't help it, he has pretty eyes and was wearing a Strokes tshirt. Amanda stuck around, which was kind of a nice thing, because if we would have ever run out of things to talk about, she would hav...

V GREAT DAY

I shouldn't even be awake right now, much less writing about it. One week of bed rest, and I just want to sleep through it but for some reason I'm just not tired anymore. Last night my two best guy friends came over to visit me, without any notice. It was Friday night, and I hadn't brushed my hair since Tuesday, plus I was still in my pajamas. But they brought chips and company, which is what I had been wanting all week. We talked about my mini accident, and more importantly, who I was with when it happened. They asked me if he was off limits, and I still don't know the answer. But I don't really care if he is. I leave Chile in two months, so I should shake things up a bit before I go. A little bit more. I have already serial dated the Chilean Mormon population, and somehow become one of the most well known girls in the Mormon Santiago area. I could blame it on my friendliness, but I know it's probably other things. I have gotten friendlier though, making actua...

Mis top cinco artistas: 1. The Arctic Monkeys  2. The Strokes 3. SSLYBY 4.Vampire Weekend 5.Kanye West 5.5. Kendrick Lamar One of the things I miss the most of my life in the United States is driving my car. Here in Chile, I can go almost anywhere on the subway, and I am one of the few who appreciates the freedom it gives me, which is also something I miss. But I can't sing my favorite songs on the metro unless I want to compete with the other performers, and I can't step on the gas when I want to make a quick getaway. I also can't roll down my window and feel the summer breeze and sun on my arms. My car was perfect for me: I bought it with my own money, I took care of it, and even though it smelled like my hockey equipment, I didn't care because it was mine. On Wednesdays I would go to mutual at church with my brother. Cruising down the same old streets, listening to the same old songs. Kevin taught me how to understand and appreciate music. Turning up the...

To dive under the waves.  While I am fighting the urge Even dip their toes in                                 I wonder why people don’t                         Making the pain mine and                                       A sharp breath of salty air                                        The water bites as I take in     ...

The trees we used to walk under Have been cut down, simple beauty painted red, Speckled with purple, blooming through white Petals now reveal light grey clouds, disguising Memories of a summertime where those flowers waved And clove followed me home step in step Over the whispering flowers. The smells of Sunday cooking run out into the streets, Filling them up with sugar, spice, and warmth But I shiver. Coat wrapping tighter around me, dogs bark, Feet howling to kick off my heels and crawl Into a comfy sleep, with the smell of cinnamon Cider tucking me deep into dreams of hidden skies Over the whispering flowers.

WHY ARE BOYS SUCH TWATS I SWEAR, I WOULD BE HAPPIER BEING SURROUNDED BY CATS WHO COULD ONLY PURRRRRR *FEROCIOUSLY TYPING* INSTEAD OF SAYING EVERY LITTLE THOUGHT THAT HAPPENS TO POP INTO THEIR TINY LITTLE HEAD AND NOT TO MENTION THAT THEY ARE NOT EVEN HOT BUT AS THIS POEM COMES TO AN END, SHE READ EL FIN

I have missed you, I have a blog now, but it doesn’t really measure up to you. I sprained my ankle, and am currently bedridden. It happened when I went out the first time I went out with a new boy. I tripped on nothing, and fell in the street. Not going to lie, it was pretty hilarious. The only not hilarious thing is this huge cast on my leg. It looks like I broke my leg, but it really isn’t that bad. I went to Chile ’s oldest hospital, Hospital Sotero del Rio . I had always gone by it on the metro, but never thought I would have the opportunity to check it out from the inside and I didn’t want to have that opportunity. But my grandpa brought me there the morning after, because my ankle was still the size of a golf ball ewwww. When we got to the door, my eyes widened and I know I probably got that “oh I’m definitely going to die in here” look on my face. There was a women lying on the floor, a lot of very sickly looking people, and a stray dog scratching its ears in the middle of the ...

 I just wish I could live in the mountains. Set up a tent, all snuggled up in a parka and equipped with an endless supply of marshmallows and a fire. Kev, mom and I always used to go camping together, in a yurt, or in that cabin up in Lake of the Ozarks . I loved hiking up those trails, no matter how many bugs attached themselves to me, and the fact that we never came as prepared as we should have. I think back to the green, the tall grass sways like something out of a movie, running down the trail, and the hills that stretched on for miles. Sammy used to always jump in the river, and I don’t know, it just makes me think of so many other good memories; like when Debbie and I explored the haunted Albino farm, when him and I climbed all the way up the hill to look down at the trees and I grabbed his hand in an attempt to hide my clumsiness, laughing with my gringo friends as we tripped our way up that awful waterfall.  Thinking back, I only want to remember these things. Eve...

Ya no me acuerdo de ella. En verdad, no me acuerdo de mucho. Cachai cuando dicen que todo pasó tan rápido? Así fue para mí. Estos últimos a ñ os de mi vida, siento que mucho ha sido solo un sueño, algo que a lo mejor me imagine porque no puedo reconstruir las memorias.                                                                   Pensaba que era mejor el no saber. Que a volver a ese sueño, si estaría tan inclinada, corría el riesgo de perderme en una seguridad falsa. Es como   cuando estas bien abajo una manta y no quieres salir.  Protegida, sin importar que haya pesadillas y personas que iban a interrumpir la paz, porque nada podría estar tan abajo...

In the midst of taking my very last online final, my wifi "timed out". After crying on the phone to my mother for a solid ten minutes, I wrote my professor a heartfelt email, explaining my predicament and the stress that now fully consumed my brain. I hope she sees that even though I did save this final for the last minute, I did it because I was studying very hard aka cramming my brain full of the information I should have been working on this entire semester. I usually never stress about school, but this semester reflects all the weeks I just didn't do anything. Just laid in bed and ate gummy worms because college has never been that thing that I put much work into. And I'm not just upset about this final and the untimely death of my wifi, I am upset that I didn't do the work to save me earlier. In completing two years of college,  I am no longer pleased with the mediocrity of my GPA. I am no longer pleased with the fact that not only do I look lazy, I am lazy, ...

Me hecha la culpa cuando el cemento se seca muy rapido. Tu boca es muy caliente, me critique, y yo trato de mirar al reloj para ver cuantas horas he estado en este asiento de tortura moderna. Aun no terminamos, y se rie de la expresion que se ve en mis ojos. Piensa que no confio en el, y tal vez tiene razon. Los odontologos le encanta meter manos en bocas y limpiar todo lo que a mi me da asco. Suspiro, y  sigue riendose de mi vida tan desafortunada. Son las nueve en la manana y debo estar durmiendo tapada calientita en mi cama. Me ofrece un tiempo para cerrar la boca y descansar. En este teimpo, seguridad en el no es tan cien porcientos como debe ser, lo observo como va a buscar algo mas para meter en mi boca. Lo veo sacar un taladro. No es un taladro de *corriente, se ve como si pesaria un monton, y la punta es ancha y larga. El vuelve y lo pone en su mesa de herramientas. Me pide que habre mi boca, y lo hago dudosamente. Observo que toma su taladro y lo empieza a asercar a mi bo...

Different Surroundings: It finally rained A little flinch every time it touched my face I inhaled deep, the clouds surrounding the mountains So bright it is (refreshing), like the air in my lungs and the rain on my cheeks And now the mountains are their own shade of orange and the sky is a daring purple And I don't see why I am the only one Who can't seem to look away And come inside when it finally rains

It is now officially finals week, which is better known as the three days where I try my very hardest to remember a semesters worth of information for classes that I not only do not care about, but may have completely slept through. I identify myself as a student who no matter how much they try to motivate themselves to study, finals week arrives and it is up to me to fake my way though exams, while chanting a summertime mantra and praying that I pass my classes. I wish I could say that I was studious, notes in tip top shape, penciled sharpened, and ready to go, but I fall short. Although my classes are all online this semester, there is still the constant worry of a sudden death of my wifi connection or the fact that the answers will not all be an easy google search away, making my head ache and the stress of finals week real. "Only two days left" I chant over and over again hoping that in two days, this week will have all just been a small nightmare and I can go back to sh...

I came home skipping. My first date night in a while, and there was definitely a connection. I even enacted my don't kiss on the first date rule, which I only do when I don't want to screw something up. I called my mother, anxious to tell her about my day, but I had to wait. I understood, she had things that she had to tell my grandparents. Things about money and jobs, step parents, and disappointments. Listening in, I couldn't help the rush of invasive thoughts that came into my head. Thinking about money and love, and the fact that my evil stepmother continued to be evil, I went down to bake a mothers day cake. I had spent money on getting the perfect little gifts for the important mothers in my life, and as I mixed up the chocolaty mix, eggs, and vegetable oil, the thoughts continued to poke at me. Does money = love? I'm not talking about sugar daddies or gold diggers, I'm talking about providing for others. I have my savings, but I've never been rich, I'...

I can't help but have you cross my mind today. It could say that it hasn't been my fault, I refuse to take the blame in the way the universe moves lately, running into you in crowded places or having you write me in my dreams. But today I admit that I do think of you; think of where I was last year, on this very date. I remember looking through your albums of baby pictures and seeing your family. Everyone had come out for the occasion, and although my face was still numb from the dentist visit earlier before, I smiled and laughed because I was happy to be there on your day with you. I don't think I'll ever forget how after you blew out your candles you told me what you wished for. I knew then that no one would love me like you did, because you were the first person I had ever fallen in love with. And even though we don't speak, we don't look at each other in the hallways, I want to wish you a happy birthday. And tell you that your wish did come true. And it pain...

hi yo!!!!!!!!!!! SUP MY PEEPS!!!!!!!! -My one blog post from 2009

So I guess I can say that I started blogging before it became a trend, but since my last post was in 2009, this is a new Megan writing. 20 years old- residing in Santiago, Chile. But I will talk more about that later. I don't really think that anyone loves to play a whole get to know you game right away, common questions being: Where are you from? What do you study? And my personal favorite, how tall are you? (P.S I am average height.) In my blog, I want to write about things that matter to me and things that have changed the way I look at the world. I also don't want it to be lame and I am kind of only doing this because my dream job would be a journalist or an author and I want to see if I tirar pinta. I tell everyone I know that they are talking to a future ESOL teacher though, because eso kind of me tinca. Most of my posts are written in the dead of night due to my nocturnal nature. I don't really want anyone to read my blog, but I have been writing in my diary for yea...