when i tried to get into college 2014

Feeling like home 5,000 miles away

No one likes sleeping on a plane. The seats never lean back as far as you want them to, and there always seems to be a baby crying or an old man snoring next to you. After a one-hour flight to take a 10-hour flight, you’re ready to be home—a place where you are completely content. That place for me is 11 air hours away from where I have lived for most of my life. As strange as it sounds, and even though I’ve only been there five times, that place is my home. Every time I step off the plane in Chile I feel alive. It’s a feeling of contentedness and bliss that makes me want to head out into the world and see what it has waiting for me. It’s the feeling of a new beginning in my life. I love adventure, and I know that once I get there, I’ll find it.

Everything is different there: the sunny winter climate, the sounds of Chileno po, and the surroundings. I am amazed at the beauty I see everywhere. In Springfield I see trees, grass and midsized buildings. In Chile, I am surrounded by mountains, colorful homes, teeming streets, and graffiti-covered walls.  It all quickly becomes familiar as we make our way through the city, up toward my grandparents’ home. Family greets us at each door, every time with more children and food than the last. One reunion after another—meeting people you can’t remember having met before and seeing little cousins that have only heard about you.

For me, being constantly surrounded by all those smiling faces is like a breath of fresh air. I’m not so used to the feeling of tranquility I have once I arrive, but soon, I begin to appreciate that it’s there.  Where I live now, there is stress and sadness, and it can get to be very hard.  There is always something broken, and even when I try to make the best of my situation, it all gets to be tiring. Chile is my escape, and the longer I’m there, the more personal it all becomes. It’s a time to make memories and take vacations, to see new parts of the world together, or simply to watch funny movies with my 12 cousins.

I’m the oldest, they all look up to me—literally. I love spending time with them there, but it also reminds me that I’m missing out on all the memories I could be making, seeing them all grow up, being surrounded by people who love me. Don't get me wrong, Springfield is not some cell without a key. I have my loving family and my best friends who are there for me, but leaving Chile to go back is hard. I feel my hope fade as the goodbyes approach. The last time we went, five years ago, Emilio was born. He’s five now, and when he found out we were leaving, he cried all night, saying it’d be just like we were on another planet because we’d be so far away.

The fact is, every time I go I leave a piece of my heart with them. And as sad as those feelings can be, I know I have something to look forward to, something to come back to. They are my driving force, the reason I need to succeed. Renata, Agustina, Emilio, Bruno, Camila, Rocio, Cony, Fran, Benjamin, Amanda, Daniel, and Isabella keep me going because I know that when I go back, that feeling will return. The feeling that everything is and will be okay. Going to Chile is not just a vacation I don’t want to end. It’s home.