Here comes the dreaded get to know you

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Curiosity killed the kitty
Sometimes I wish that I could retrieve all my secrets. All the ones I have let go in moments of vulnerability, in an effort to gain trust, or have just whispered; hoping that they would just float away. But it's not that easy, and now I'm not even sure what classifies as a secret, and which ones are mine to keep. And of course, there are those secrets that you wish you never knew, the ones you should have never found out. Dumb cat. 
Love is lies,  
When you deny a secret, does it become a lie? Or stay an innocent little secret? There is an appeal to staying a mystery, but it never lasts. If it did, I could stop running. I try tell the truth, I do but in my past, there was always something I was supposed to keep from someone else. And being the first to find out made it my responsibility to keep that secret. I don't know if I handled that responsibly, well, I know I didn't. Good or bad, the lies always came out, mingled together with the secrets that came with the same warning label; don't tell. 
And ignorance is bliss?
Yesterday someone told me that I had as much emotional maturity as a three year old. I asked him what he thought he knew, to see if he had taken the time to know me. The thing is, the only things he believed he knew, were his observations of me. If I judged everyone by what I saw, what I heard, I would have a lot of hatred in my heart, and most it for myself. Some people are satisfied with the easy judgement that comes with blissful ignorance. It is my goal not be one of them.
I am afraid. 
It's all fun and games at first and then the questions come and they don't stop. Not just what's your favorite animal, but something deeper. And it makes you want to run away, and you avoid the truth, just like you avoid going to the doctor, because the risk is too great, and not knowing may be confusing, and may hurt, but it'll hurt a lot less than the recovery won't it? 


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