Wack for the Mac

-
I am back baby, maybe?
With a desk I picked up off the street and a new computer, I still have not gotten over my months of writers block. I want to be, I want to get home, peel off my greasy jeans and try not to wince at my hat hair, and just sit down at my imaginary chair and write about my day, all the things I want to learn about, and continue to stress about. But lately, I lack motivation, I lack a lot of things, except an exceptional need to watch criminal minds and sleep away my afternoons. 
I still don't have much to say, much to think about except for missing things. I miss you, I miss the happiness that came without effort. It was a way to live, a way that took no extra thought, because it just happened. And maybe that is why I haven't written, because I don't want to sound repetitive, depressed, I don't want to sound like this life isn't happy. Because I am happy. It just takes a lot more work than it used to. I don't want to write about love, because I don't know how I remember it, I don't want to stay cooped up, scared to make a choice. But if I choose to, 
At least my room is clean. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

De Peru a Barcelona a Miami baby

-
¡Ponte vía! Salí del avión como estrella. Onda: esa escalera gigante, donde bajan los presidentes y famosos, esperados por periodistas y cámaras. Pero no había nadie esperándome, solo una micro para llevar a todos a inmigración, porque no era la presidente, y estábamos en Perú nomas. Después de dos o tres horas en el avión, el aire se sentía rico, mejor que el congelador en que habíamos llegado.  Tomaba mis pocos pasos peruanos hacia la micro. Me hizo pensar en si podría decir que había visitado este país, ya que olía el viento fresco, y que tenía que esperar tres horas y medio, hasta mi próximo vuelo. Mi cargador es una carga: Aun no había la información de mi puerta, solo diez minutos de wifi gratis. Tuve tiempo para decirles a mi familia que mi avión había llegado bien, y no entendía el acento peruano, dejándome con 13% de batería. Mi cargador está casi roto; tengo hambre y no tengo soles, tengo 750 pesos chilenos. Mientras caminaba por el aeropuerto, me di cuenta que cas...
Read more

Funk

-
Or as I've been calling it, the mid October slump. I have given up on the idea that I will ever wake up early enough to straighten my hair before class, accepting that a messy bun on the top of my head is the best it is going to get. I give up on finding the perfect outfit for Missouri's forever changing temperatures. I have renounced my perfect attendance, in hope to make it through this semester. Midterms were last week: And I wrote three papers, had two tests, and made one collage. I spent hours studying metamorphic rocks and crustal deformation only to get a 79 percent. I wrote papers about things I really did not care about. At all. I used a blog entry and the most random photos for my last fashion assignment. I took my perfect attendance and flushed it down the drain because why not? Was it worth it? HECK YES IT WAS. I made it to about two classes, slept in till one, and lounged around the house in my underwear, because I knew that this would be my last opportunity ...
Read more

Pretty lil something

-
I was transported back to that day. My feet were in the sand toes curling in the wet grains and I'm not in my kitchen anymore I'm laughing and yelling talking to the ocean talking to you drawing your name and mine in the sand and I feel sick to my stomach because the doubt has vanished and I know that in that moment I was free and I had never been more in love I remember the sky and tossing the shells back into the ocean except for the ones I kept to paint with you. In the midst of cleaning out my jewelry bag i stumbled across the shells that traveled from the pacific to Missouri and I want to break one but I can't because they are still so beautiful and although I think about it less and less everyday I can't stop my mind today, as I tuck away the shells in a safe place, where they will stay, beautiful and whole.
Read more