todays and yesterdays

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Honey honey, I love you
Or something like that, played louder and louder as I mopped the floor. I haven’t mopped in like two years, but I remember that the janitor at work told me I was terrible. Just awful, as he gave me another one of his special brownies, and proceeded to yank my mop away. I feel like I’m in a musical, a lame one, not like the Rocky Horror Picture show. Where they dress up in drag and make love to who knows who. On comes Vampire Weekend, and no one knows why it is on the playlist, but now it is my musical, and I sing into the mop, mopping in the entirely wrong direction.
I am frustrated
I feel nothing. I feel everything. I forgot this feeling. Kevin told me he likes my blog, I have to tell him I love his. And that I love him too.
The dog is barking
And it is my two month anniversary. I don’t know if I’m good at relationships, if I am a good girlfriend, but lately, I have less idea of everything that I once thought to know.
What else is new?
I made two lists.
One:
Things That I think are true but probably aren’t
  • Dinosaurs are a government conspiracy to get us all to believe in something as crazy as a meteor killing Jurassic Prk. P.S Dinosaurs is also another Hollywood ploy for boxoffice bucks.
  • Crying is weakness, so don’t cry, especially not in front of people you dope
  • If you don’t talk to your friends you will miss them less
  • I don’t have enough clothes
  • Cici’s pepperoni pizza is the best pizza in the world
Two:
Things Easier to do than talking about Your Feelings:
  • Hitting your hand with a rock
  • Throwing rocks
  • Proving dinosaurs existence
  • Watching a million cheesy musicals in a row
  • Writing about it in my blog
With all that I know it is best if I go to sleep to get ready for my day at church tomorrow, celebrating my two month anniversary with my boyfriend, I think I’ll keep writing because
Yesterday I threw a little goodbye house party (not at my house, but Rocio’s). We bought sixty hot dog buns and too many chips although we knew not everyone would eat. I talked to people that I would miss, friends that convince me to perreo hasta abajo and who helped me with my makeup. Even though I am excited to go back, I realized I was sad too. Too many mini marshmallows and clashing feelings, my friend (boyfriend) acted like a true mvp by bringing me back to party mode. I confessed my love for Rombai… no matter how chula it may be, and I witnessed DJ Rolo and Nawel together in action. 10/10
But I have to go back:

Have to study fashion design (I think?) although I don’t know where who what when why how. I think I’ll just write my way through school, through the subway, and life. 

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