yesterday my internet was slow

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This kitchen is never clean. The dust and dirt just flies back onto the walls, hides in the cracks in the floors. The fly swatter is nowhere to be found, I think Marcus had it last. “Marcus! Where did you...” I stopped short. The boys were at school, and according to the tacky bird clock on the wall I was late to go get them. Why did I let my husband pick out that clock? Ex husband I mean. Sighing, I grabbed my purse, keys, and took a quick look in the mirror. Gray hairs sticking out of my bun, and the dark circles under my eyes were not a flattering look. I was hardly forty years old, but the changes had taken their toll on my once youthful looks.
As I continued to critique the woman who looked back at me, there was a loud knock at the door. Strange, no one was supposed to be coming over today.
“Mom!” Marcus and Jonah wrapped their arms around me, but I just looked at Helen. The typical perfect PTA mom who came accompanied by her children. She just stared. “The kids told me this is where they lived, but I thought they were mistaken.” I ushered the kids inside. “Well, hello Helen. Welcome to my trailer park.”
Helen stammered, “I just, I just thought that David had... I… It’s nice, it really is!”
“David left a few months ago.” I said, feeling my face heat up. Helen continued to stare, clutching her purse and her children close.
“I had no idea, I am sorry to hear that. I brought Jonah and Marcus because, well, they were the only kids left waiting on a parent to come and pick them up.” She looked at me and I could read the judgment on her face.
“Thank you so much. I would invite you in, but”
“Oh, that is alright, we are in a hurry anyways.” Helen interrupted. “See you at the next PTA meeting Alice.”
I gave her a reassuring smile, and closed the door. Helen didn’t know of course, but when David left, he had not only left his family, but he took the money, leaving us with barely enough to live off of. Hence, the trailer park was all I could afford. I slunk down, leaning on the door. Holding my head in my hands, the tears dropped down before I even realized I was crying.
“Jonah hit me!”
“Liar! Mom, Marcus is lying!”
Their yells came from across the trailer. Standing up, I wiped my face on my sleeve, taking a second to breathe. Walking over to the kitchen, I opened a bag of chips.
“Boys, snack!”
They rushed into the kitchen and we sat down together. “So, how was school today?”
As they clamored on about their days, I ruffled Marcus’s hair as Jonah snuggled up to me. Closing my eyes, I hoped to remember how they made this all worth it.



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